


The Life-Altering Event

by tears_of_the_sun



Series: Buddie Family [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Family, Firefam Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Minor Character Death, Multi, Post-Lawsuit (9-1-1 TV), Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23679073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tears_of_the_sun/pseuds/tears_of_the_sun
Summary: After the lawsuit, Buck is isolated from the rest of the team. Little does he know, a single phone call is going to alter his life forever.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Carla Price, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Buddie Family [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730086
Comments: 18
Kudos: 244





	1. The Phone Call

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! This starts out sad, but it does get better. :)

After the ladder truck fell and crushed Buck’s leg, after the rehab, after the blood clots, after Bobby telling him he wasn’t ready, after all of that suffering to get his job back, Buck filed a lawsuit. It was a last ditch effort, but he NEEDED to be back with the 118, with his family. He needed to do what he loved, and he needed to do it now. He never stopped training, he never stopped, he never gave up. He needed them, desperately, and he missed them with every fiber of his being. 

Buck was not allowed to have contact with any one from the 118. He couldn’t call, no texting, and he couldn’t even see Chris. He hated being cut off from all of them, including Maddie. He wasn’t allowed to talk to his own sister because she was dating Chim and that would be a conflict of interest. He had never felt more alone, more isolated, more deserted. But Buck didn’t let this separation break him. After the deposition when the whole team was called in, Buck waited in the lobby for the next elevator when his phone rang. 

“Hello?” Buck asked into the phone. 

“Mr. Evan Buckley?” a cold and distant voice asked from the other line

“Speaking,” There was a brief pause and Buck was starting to get annoyed, his patience had been thin lately. The stress of the lawsuit was eating him alive. “Who is this?” 

“Sorry, I’m calling to inform you that your girlfriend Ali is here at Los Angles Community Hospital. We need you to get here as soon as you can,” The unknown voice said into the phone. 

“I think you must have me confused, we are no longer together, we broke up” Buck stated, he was confused but starting to get concerned. “Is she okay?” It wasn’t like Buck to stop caring about his ex’s. Ali had broken up with him for good reason. She knew her limits, she knew herself, and she was strong enough to put herself first. Buck had always respected her for that. Ali was truly a good person, and she would be there if she needed him, and if she would take his help. 

“Mr. Buckley, she has you down as her emergency contact, we need you to get down here” 

Buck’s heart sank. The voice didn’t answer his question, and he knew all too well what that meant. “I’m on my way.” He said and ditched the elevator, running down the stairs. He pushed past the crew, accidentally knocking Eddie into Bobby and almost knocking them all down. Buck jumped into his jeep and sped off. Buck didn’t even turn to say sorry. “Watch it!” Eddie yelled after the vanishing Jeep Wrangler. As mad as the team was, they all exchanged concerned glances. 

Buck was gone; he only had one focus: Ali. 

~ 

Buck pulled into the hospital and ran inside asking every person he saw about Ali, and where to find her. Finally, a doctor recognized him, “Mr. Buckley!” He said eager to get to their conversation. “W-what happened to Ali? Is everything okay?” He asked searching the doctor’s eyes for details. Buck found nothing, absolutely zero answers on the doctor’s face. It was straight, and calm. 

“Mr. Buckley, let’s go sit down.” The doctor said and led Buck to a room. Buck was far too nervous to sit, and he closed the door behind him. He looked dead in the doctor’s eyes. “What. Happened. To. Ali.” Buck laid emphasis on every word he spoke. 

“Mr. Buckley, I’m sorry to tell you that Ali was admitted yesterday evening. She had gone into labor and encountered some complications. Mr. Buckley, we are sorry to tell you that despite our best efforts, Ali died last night at 11:52 PM from a post birth hemorrhage. However, your daughter is healthy, and doing just fine,” The doctor finished everything he needed to say, and focused on Evan.

Buck stared at him in complete and utter shock, “I’m sorry, what?!” Buck asked, taking a few steps back. Ali was in LA? She was pregnant? She died? What? What happened? What did the last eight months mean? She didn’t tell him. Was he definitely the father? What? 

Buck’s thoughts started racing and he started hyperventilating. He breathed extremely heavily, and the doctor had him sit down. “Evan, it’s okay. Breathe” The doctor got him a glass of water and handed it to him. “Drink, breathe, calm down” He said trying to comfort the young man. 

Buck took the water and kept trying to slow his breathing. “I have a daughter?” He asked. The doctor nodded. “Ali had a DNA test done, and it matched from your record with the SEALs.” He informed him. “There’s no question about it.“ He emphasized, “I can take you to go see her, and you can take her home once she completes the car seat test,” he informed him. Buck nodded, and slowly got up following the doctor. 

The pair walked in silence, and they turned the corner into the Nursey. Buck saw the little girl wrapped in the white hospital blanket and he knew. He knew. He knew right away she was his. Their eyes locked, and his heart was sold. She had his eyes. She was his, and no one would ever stop that, or take that away from him. Everything else faded away, and the only thing on his mind was her. He walked closer to her slowly, he turned to the doctor, “Can I hold her?” he asked gently, not wanting to make a ton of noise. “Of course,” The doctor walked over and gently handed her to him. 

Buck sat down, with his daughter in his arms. He had on the biggest saddest smile he had ever known. He didn’t even know what this feeling was, or what it meant. He felt lost, broken, but found and strong all at the same time. He rocked back in the chair gently. “I-I don’t have anything for her. But like I can go shopping. But I don’t want to leave her..” He trailed off. The doctor offered a comforting smile, “We can hook you up with a car seat, and enough supplies to last you a few days.” Buck nodded and looked up at him, “Thank you.” He said and rocked back and forth with his daughter. 

Buck stayed perfectly still just studying every aspect and feature of his little girl. He was stunned, and absolutely in love with her. She had his eyes, and her mom’s nose. She had the most perfect little ray of freckles across her nose, and golden blonde hair. She was studing Buck, as if she knew exactly who he was. She gave a soft yawn, stretching her small hand out towards Buck. He reached down and held her hand with his index finger. She wrapped her fingers around his finger. She was strong, just like her mom, and just like her dad. She, was a Buckley. 

After a while, she started to cry softly, faintly and Buck panicked, “What did I do?!” he glanced up at the doctor. “Nothing, absolutely nothing, Evan. She’s just hungry. Come on, let’s go show you how to make a bottle, and give her a bath and then we’ll do the car seat test and you’ll be good to go.” Buck nodded and stood up. He transitioned her to his other arm and followed the doctor. “She’s on a perfect feeding schedule, every three hours. Exactly like clockwork.” The doctor explained as they walked into another room. 

~

There Buck was, in a $600-dollar suit in the maternity ward, learning from a doctor and nurse how to give his daughter a bath. He couldn’t care less; he was so beyond happy. Buck had mastered bottle feeding, and he was feeling accomplished. Though, while he felt accomplished, he also felt extremely guilty, being so happy while mourning the loss of Ali. It was strange. That kind of a loss. They had broken up, and he had healed from it, but knowing she had kept so many things from him, he was equally sad and furious. 

Buck got his baby girl dressed in a small white onesie, and he strapped her into the car seat. They would complete the car seat test, and then they would be free to go. 

While she was in there, he took a second to collect his thoughts and make a plan. As soon as they left the hospital, they would stop at Target. They would get everything she would need, then they would go home. At some point Buck would need a two-bedroom apartment. No, his daughter deserved a yard and a swing set. His first thought was to call his accountant and start to pull funds and place them on reserve. After Buck had handled that, he went and worked on paperwork with the doctor. Ali’s parents had both passed, that means Buck was the lucky one who got to handle everything. He didn’t really entirely know what to do, but he took the doctor’s advice and listened to the support he was offering. As he filled everything out, he started to think about the people he wanted to tell. He wanted to tell the firefam but they had iced him out, granted, they legally had to. But the wave and feeling of guilt grew stronger. However, him getting his job back was so much more important now. Now, he had someone to provide for. 

Buck quickly shook the thought of the firefam off. Buck had picked a funeral home that he had worked with before and was handed Ali’s personal belongings. He took the bag, and the car seat with his baby girl and they headed out to his Wrangler. The doctor showed Buck how to get the car seat in, and how to secure it properly then they were free to go. Buck gave the doctor a hug and thanked him for teaching him so much today. Buck got in and drove to Target. 

~

Buck drove out of the parking lot and started to drive to Target. He drove slow, and careful. He didn’t want to wake his sleeping baby, nor did he want anything bad to happen. It was a stunning and beautiful day in LA. Buck felt the first moment of relief wash over him, he was starting to calm down and his adrenaline was slowly subsiding. He parked at Target and got out. He picked up his little one and held her in his left arm, walking inside. He grabbed a cart and started walking around. He made his way back to the baby section and started grabbing supplies. 

Buck was a walking chick magnet. As he walked around with his daughter in his arms, a whole bunch of women kept walking around. It kind of got on Bucks nerves. He had had one hell of a rough day, and he was not in the socializing mood. However, he did not want to be rude so he made awkward small talk or just smiled and kept walking. He didn’t really listen to most of them. 

He started with the clothes, of course. He grabbed various bodysuits, and sleepers, and a few outfit combos. He grabbed: socks, hairbands, mittens, booties, leggings, swaddles, and some blankets, formula, bottles, pacifiers, a crib, swing, a stroller, a better car seat, a few play mats, a pack and play, a diaper bag, diapers, a baby wrap, a monitor, toys, a bottle washer, and everything else. Pretty much if he saw it, it went in the cart. He went and picked out crib sheets and got her a small stuffed elephant. He adored elephants, and it was far too cute not to get. He also picked up a onesie that had a fire truck on it. Her daddy was a firefighter, and she had to have that. 

Buck really did not want to be there for too long. He grabbed everything they needed and headed to kitchen supplies. He grabbed some things there and headed to the check out. Buck asked a few of the guys to carry the bigger items out for him, and they loaded the Wrangler. Buck slipped each of the guys a $10, got his baby in and drove back to his apartment. 

Buck parked in his normal parking spot back home. He thought of one person that he could reach out to. Yes, it was a stretch, however, she technically wasn’t off limits. He pulled out his phone, pulled up the contact, and hit dial. 

“What’s up Buckaroo?” Carla’s energetic voice answered the phone. She was always happy to hear from him and had missed him lately. So had Chris. 

“Carla?” Buck asked, his voice starting to shake. He needed help, and she was the only person he could turn to. Buck held back a sob, but Carla knew him better than that. “Buckaroo, what’s wrong?” She said worried. “Ali.... Ali’s dead, and I’m sitting here, in my car, parked outside my apartment with my daughter in the back seat….” Bucks voice trailed off. “I’m on my way.” Carla said and the call disconnected. 

Carla had Chris with her, so she texted Eddie and told him something personal came up and Chris would be with is Abuela. Carla knew Eddie wouldn’t mind, and Chris was looking forward to seeing his Abuela that day anyway. The time just moved up a few hours. Carla dropped him off and drove to Buck’s place. 

Carla tapped on the window of the grey Jeep and Buck nearly jumped out of his skin. He got out and pulled Carla into a massive hug. Carla pulled the boy close and rubbed his back gently. “Shhhh, Buckaroo, it’ll be okay.” Carla whispered trying to comfort him. “Come on, let’s get inside shall we?” Carla asked. “Actually, I need to unload the car. Will you take the baby?” Buck asked, Carla nodded and grabbed the car seat while Buck started with the crib. They walked in together. When they got inside Carla set the sleeping baby on the kitchen island. “So you want me to stay with her, or unload the car?” Carla asked Buck. “I got the car, thanks though Carla.” Buck said and walked out to get the rest of the stuff. 

After a few minutes, Buck had the car fully unloaded. He came in and closed the door. Carla was sitting on one of the bar stools at the island in the kitchen. She had gotten herself a glass of wine and got a beer out of the fridge for Buck. “Buckaroo, want to fill me in?” She asked Buck, rocking the car seat and taking a sip of wine. Buck grabbed the beer and took a sip. He began to tell her all about the lawsuit, the depositions, the call from the doctor. He told her everything the doctor had told him, and he continued into his own thoughts, and feelings of guilt. He explained his trip to target and everything. Carla nodded, keeping up with him. She let him talk and let him get everything off his chest. 

“Okay, here is what we are going to do. You are going to build the crib on the loft, on the side of your bed that’s away from the stairs. The Pack and Play will stay down here. I am going to wash all of the clothes you bought. Then we will get everything organized. Okay?” She asked Buck. Buck nodded eagerly, “Thank you, thank you for coming. Oh, oh my, did you have Chris?” Buck asked in a soft panic, he left the question of if she told Eddie fall silent, but they both knew it was there. “Yes, I had Chris. However, he just went to his Abuela’s a few hours early. No, I didn’t tell Eddie. I figured there had to be a reason you called me and not the team, and well. Now I know why.” She said. Buck looked at her in disbelieve. Did Eddie really not tell Carla about the lawsuit? Really? He was kind of amazed. Buck nodded, and thanked Carla again. He went and got the box for the crib, and his tools and headed upstairs. 

A few frustrating hours had passed. Carla had washed the baby bottles, put away the baby clothes, all while taking care of the baby for Buck. Buck finished building the crib, the changing table, a dresser, and a swing for the baby. He had also installed the new car seat into his Wrangler. Buck went downstairs after taking a shower and ordering Chinese food. “Carla, dinner is on me. Thank you so so much for today.” Buck said and smiled. He had gone through and set an alarm for every three hours to feed the baby. His little girl was sound asleep in the pack and play, and they both had a little bit of a break. 

“Buckaroo, how are you feeling?” Carla inquired, genuinely concerned for his well-being. 

Buck looked at Carla, then the small angel sleeping in the pack and play. “Honestly? I have no worldly clue. My life has changed so much. It’s crazy. Like, she’s dead, the mother of my child is actually dead. And my daughter doesn’t have a mother? Not even mentioning, 12 hours ago, I didn’t know I had a daughter. And all of my friends hate me?” He shook his head, finally letting himself feel all of the emotions that were coursing through his body. All of the pent-up feelings just overflooded him and he started to cry. He hated that she was gone. His daughter would never meet her mother, and her mother was truly truly amazing. Now he had to plan a funeral, tell all of her friends? “How am I supposed to do this?” Buck asked softly. “Plan her funeral? Who do I even invite? Do I reach out to the fire fam?” He asked and sighed softly. “How do I find a nanny for when I go back to work? What if I don’t get my job back?” he asked. He knew Carla didn’t have all the answers, but she always knew what to do. Carla was wonder woman for crying out loud. 

“You are going to be okay. And you are going to remember that. You have responsibilities now. And you will be okay. I will help with the funeral; I know my way around that system as well. Eddie has the next two days off so I’m all yours Buckaroo. Don’t worry about your job, let the lawsuit do its’ work. That is still a ways away, alright?” She asked, looking Buck in the eyes. She watched Buck’s expression calm down and start to relax.

Buck and Carla watched some TV, took care of the baby, and ate Chinese food. Carla left around 11, and Buck got his daughter to go to sleep in her crib. She was a really good baby so far. She didn’t cry a whole lot, she slept a good bit, and she always took the bottle. 

~

Buck didn’t sleep at all last night. He was up looking up names, and their meanings, taking care of his baby, and watching a whole bunch of parenting videos. He was robbed of the chance to prepare for her, and he wanted to be ready, for anything. He even had time to make up a list of things that he forgot. He got the name of a good agency and began interviewing nannies in about a week. Today was going to be a big day and he needed to be awake for it. The baby woke up for her 7 am feeding, and Buck knew he wasn’t going to get her back to sleep again. 

He scooped up his little one and took her downstairs to make the bottle. He held her close while he tested the bottle on his wrist. He then went and sat down with a burping cloth and started to feed her while watching the morning news. She finished the bottle, and he carefully burped her. She spit up a little, and some got on his shirt but that was a-okay. He brewed some coffee and took her upstairs with him to get dressed. He pulled on jeans and a black t-shirt and put her in a light pink body suit that had two ruffles down each of the sides and little white hearts on it. He packed the diaper bag, along with a bottle. They were going to meet Carla at the funeral home at 9, and the baby would have another feeding at 10. He took her, the baby wrap he had, and the diaper bag downstairs. Evan was expecting a call from both his lawyer, and Ali’s lawyer. He poured himself a cup of coffee and they went out to the car. Buck got the baby into her car seat and left the diaper bag next to him on the passenger seat along with the baby wrap. Buck turned on some music, and they began their drive to the funeral home. 

Carla was leaned against her car as Buck pulled into the spot next to her. He got out and grabbed the diaper bag and his little one. Carla offered him a soft smile, “Morning Buckaroo, how’d last night go? Did you sleep?” Carla asked. Buck kind of snorted at the idea of sleep. “Nope, but not because of her keeping me up. Well. Not directly. Do you know how stressful it is picking a name?” He asked, then Buck remembered that Carla had two kids. “Dumb question. Anyways, I landed on one.” Buck said, grinning ear to ear. “Carla, I would like you to meet Clementine Faith Buckley” he said with a whole bunch of enthusiasm. Carla smiled hugely, “I love it, and Ali would have too. Come on, let’s go talk to them” She said and pulled Buck inside. Buck held Clem close, as they walked inside the funeral home. 

They scheduled the wake for Friday, and the funeral service for Saturday. They also wrote the obituary, picked out a casket, and paid for everything. Buck and Carla walked out, right as Buck was getting a call. “Hello?” He asked into his phone. It was Buck’s lawyer, telling him to get down to his office immediately. Buck hung up the phone and looked at Carla. “I cannot thank you enough. Thank you,” he said pulling Carla into a big hug. “that was my lawyer, rain check on lunch?” he asked, and Carla nodded. “You go Buckaroo, get your job back!” She yelled. Buck got Clem in her car seat and drove to his lawyer’s office building. Buck got out and put Clem in the Baby wrap. He grabbed the diaper bag and made his way inside. 

\--

Buck was furious. He didn’t want money. He wanted his job. And the city didn’t want to hire him back. He was so confused. He was ready. He was good at his job; he hadn’t gotten in trouble on the job since he was hired back after Buck 1.0. He was reliable, dependable, resilient. He could handle himself. But no, all he was seen as a liability. He went through all the trouble. Lost all of his friends, and still couldn’t get a place back on the team. He was crushed. He got Clem back in her car seat and got in the driver’s seat. His phone rang, again. This time, it was Ali’s lawyer. 

“Mr. Evan Buckley?” the man asked, “This is he.” This was beginning to sound like the phone call from hell yesterday. “Hi yes, I’m calling to schedule an appointment regarding the will of Ali.” He said and Buck nodded to himself. “Of course, when works for you?” He asked into the phone. “How about in an hour?” Buck nodded to himself. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take, but he figured he should just handle all of the painful stuff in one day rather than spreading it out. “Sounds good” Buck replied, and they hung up the phone. 

Buck had installed a mirror, so he was able to see Clem when she was in the back seat. He had also put some toys on the car seat handle. She was such a good baby. She barely cried; she was quiet when they were out. She was so curious and wanted to look at everything. She absolutely loved skin to skin contact. She felt safe with Buck, but she didn’t mind when other people held her. She was amazing, and she was all Bucks’. Buck glanced back at her when they were stopped at a red light and smiled. He found the love of his life, right there. That adorable, adoring, sweet little baby. She was his life now. And he would do anything for her. 

Buck pulled into the parking complex at lawyer #2’s office building. Same routine, he got out, baby wrap, Clem, diaper bag, and he walked in. He went up to the fifth floor and they began talking. 

Ali’s lawyer explained that because Ali had a daughter, legally everything that was Ali’s was technically to go to Clementine. However, seeing as Clementine was three days old, Buck would be in charge of all of it. Ali had made a good life for herself and had already started a trust fund for the baby. They went through all of the paperwork and got everything sorted. Buck was given a spare key to Ali’s place, and the address. Buck thanked the man for his time and headed back to the car. 

Instead of getting in right away, he sat outside holding her. Again, he studied her features and her adoring big blue eyes looked back at him. He grabbed a pacifier from the diaper bag and put it in her mouth to tide her over until they got home and he could make her a bottle. He strapped her into the car seat and drove back to his place. 

Buck pulled into his usual parking space and furrowed his brow. Eddie’s truck was parked in front of him. Buck got out, diaper bag and Clem in tow. He started walking towards his front door when he saw Eddie sitting on the ground in the hallway outside of it. Buck froze, dead in his tracks. Eddie looked over at him and stood up. “I thought you would be home, but your Wrangler was gone, and you didn’t open the door…” Eddie trailed off when he noticed Buck was holding a baby car seat and a diaper bag. “Uhm, care to explain” Eddie asked inquisitively. Buck sighed softly, walking past Eddie to open the door. “Look, I’ve had a shit thirty-six hours. If you came to yell or beat me down, then please save it.” Buck said while he pushed the door open. Buck was in absolutely no mood to get yelled at again about how he was so exhausting, and how he made himself look like the only one with problems. He didn’t have it in him. 

Eddie’s expression plummeted. “I’m not here to yell… You pushed past us yesterday, then Carla called off. I put two and two together.” Eddie came in behind Buck and closed the door. Buck set Clem on the kitchen island. She was still happily sucking on her pacifier. Buck started to get a bottle ready. “Buck, tell me what happened…” Eddie pleaded. He was worried. Buck didn’t look good. He looked thin, and worn down, and miserable. He just looked drained, physically and mentally. Buck tested the bottle and picked Clem up. He grabbed a burping cloth and sat down in a chair at the dining room table. He kicked out another chair for Eddie to sit in, and Eddie sat, taking the hint. 

“Eddie, this is my daughter, Clementine Faith Buckley.” Buck said softly. Eddie’s expression looked confused as hell. He didn’t say anything, but he needed to be filled in. “Okay….” He said softly. Buck looked up and saw the confusion. “Yesterday, after the lot of you piled into the elevator, I was waiting for the next one when my phone rang. It was a doctor at the hospital, and they told me Ali was there, and I was her emergency contact. That’s when I ran through you guys and drove to the hospital.” Buck paused, and his eyes grew big and sad. “Eddie, Ali’s dead. She didn’t tell me she was pregnant, and now she’s dead. And I have a daughter....” Buck trailed off. He couldn’t start to cry, not again, and not in front of Eddie. Clem finished her bottle and Buck began to burp her. “Eddie, I’m so sorry. I never meant for half of that stuff to come up. I just needed my job and my family back, and now, now I need you guys, and everyone hates me. And I don’t blame them in the slightest. I hate me too” Buck began and everything he had been feeling, again washed over him. Buck finished burping Clem, and he shifted her so her back was laying on Buck’s thighs and she was looking up at him. 

Eddie realized how much pain Buck had to be in, and hearing that Buck thought everyone hated him really hurt Eddie. It was so far from the truth. They understood why he did what he did, he just went about it the wrong way. But they all saw the look on Bucks face yesterday, and it concerned them all. In fact, they all had gone to dinner and It was the only thing they had talked about. Eddie had a gut feeling something was wrong yesterday and he couldn’t make himself stay away today. “Buck, I don’t hate you. You never lost me. I’m mad as all hell at you, but I don’t hate you” Eddie began to explain. “Buck, when’s the last time you slept?” Eddie knew it had to have been a while ago. He couldn’t imagine the stress he was under currently. So much responsibility being thrown on him, with no one to share the struggle with. Eddie had gotten used to being a single parent, and yeah with Chris’ CP it was hard, but he couldn’t imagine being the single parent of a newborn. 

Buck shrugged softly, “a while…” Buck admitted. Though he wouldn’t say exactly how long unless he was pushed. Eddie sighed softly. “Give me Clem, go lay down. I got her, don’t worry” Eddie insisted, standing up. Eddie walked around the table, gently taking her from Buck. “Go,” he said firmly. Buck knew better than to argue. “She’ll want her next bottle at four.. everything is out, if you need anythi-“ ”Go!!” Eddie said firmly. Buck shut up and went upstairs. He kicked off his shoes and jeans and collapsed into his bed. He was out cold as soon as his head hit the pillow.


	2. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Buck is trying to come to terms with the loss of Ali, while getting adjusted to having Eddie and Chris back in his life. He is also working on getting adjusted to being a father.

A big piece of wood crashed into Buck’s back from the booth he had taken cover in. The wave hit the booth, Buck, and Christopher with a strong incapacitating force. Buck got tossed around, he fought to re-orientate himself. He pushed and pulled his way back up to the surface of the water. Buck broke through, taking a big gasp of air. He spun himself in circles searching for Christopher. “Chris! Chris! Christopher?!” He yelled in the loudest voice he could muster up. His throat was burning, but he kept screaming for the boy. Buck was being carried down a street by the water current. His eyes finally locked on Christopher clinging to a telephone pole with all his might. Chris was screaming for Buck. Before Buck could say anything else, he was knocked back under and everything went black. 

~

Buck shook awake, and shot straight up, gasping for air. It wasn’t long before he realized he was in his bed, and he was okay. Buck’s eyes searched the room, and finally landed on Eddie who was sitting in a rocking chair, shirtless, with Clem laying on his chest. He was rocking back and forth slowly, rubbing the small baby’s back. Eddie looked up to Buck, “Hey, breathe, you’re okay” He said softly, and got up. He laid the sleeping baby down in her crib and went over to Buck. “You were out for a while, are you okay?” Eddie asked standing in front of Buck. Buck looked up and stared into Eddie’s beautiful milk chocolate eyes, and gently laid his head against Eddie’s waist, where he was met with Eddie’s arms wrapping around him, gently stroking his hair. 

“I lost Chris-“He let out a faint sob and nuzzled further into Eddie’s bare chest. “Hey, Chris is with his Abuela, you saved him, my son is alive because of you,” Eddie replied, gently lifting his head up so they were looking into each other’s eyes again. Eddie saw the sadness in Buck’s eyes and realized just how alone he had been. Buck had to have been struggling for a while if tsunami nightmares were still affecting him, and Buck not once had reached out for help. Yes, Eddie was justified in being mad at Buck. But maybe he didn’t need to ice him out. 

Eddie sat on the bed next to Buck, pulling him into a bear hug. Buck rested his head on Eddie’s chest, his eyes glancing at his alarm clock. Two-thirty-four. “Y-you let me sleep for almost twelve hours?” Buck asked gently pulling away from Eddie. Eddie offered Buck a comforting smile, “You needed it, and Clem is amazing.” He said gently. Buck glanced at him, nodding slowly. “Thank you…” he whispered and trailed off. Buck focused his attention to the sleeping baby in her crib. He rested himself against Eddies chest, listening to his heart rate. Without question, Eddie held him close. If he could offer any comfort, whatsoever to Buck, he would. 

Buck and Eddie stayed like that until about three thirty. Buck got up and gently picked up Clem. “You should get some sleep, Eddie.” Buck said softly, inferring he could crash here. It was the least he could do. Eddie nodded as a silent thank you and laid down. Buck carried Clem downstairs and started making her a bottle. Buck fed Clem and burped her before heading back upstairs and putting her back in her crib. Buck laid down next to Eddie, who was sound asleep. 

Buck and Eddie ended up being intertwined in each other’s arms. Buck had fallen back to sleep, and Eddie was cuddled up against him. It was almost as if they had gone back to how they had been before the lawsuit. 

Buck and Eddie had grown really close after Ali had left, then were forced apart like two magnets repelling each other because of Buck’s lawsuit. Eddie had hated their time apart. He hated all of it. He had to tell Christopher that Buck wasn’t coming back for a while and had to help him through his son’s own nightmares, all while trying to convince the boy that the man who saved his life hadn’t left because of him. Now, he had Buck back, and he was determined to not ever let him go. 

Eddie was the first to wake up. It was now around six, six thirty. Eddie’s internal clock got the best of him and refused to let him sleep any longer. He was surprised that he was tucked up against Buck, but he didn’t move. First of all, he didn’t want to, and second of all, he didn’t want to wake Buck, who needed all the sleep he could get. 

Buck woke up a few minutes later, and rubbed his eyes, he looked down and was greeted by Eddie’s eyes glancing up at him. “Good morning,” Eddie whispered softly, and slowly began to sit up. “I-I’m sor—” Eddie was interrupted by Buck pulling Eddie back down. “Don’t leave, not yet” He whispered softly, begging Eddie to stay. Eddie nodded, and cuddled back up to Buck. The two stayed perfectly still, simply enjoying each-others company. “Hey, Eddie?” Buck asked after a short while. “Yeah?” Eddie replied sitting up to look at Buck. “What happened to your shirt?” He asked with a soft blush. Eddie glanced down, sleepily confused. “Oh, Clem was upset, so I did skin to skin with her and she calmed down...” Eddie explained. Buck nodded and got up. The idea of Eddie doing skin to skin and bonding with his daughter made him happier than words could express. It was going on the list.

Buck walked over to his closet and threw a clean shirt at Eddie. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Buck went into the bathroom and turned the water on taking a quick shower. Eddie put the shirt on and went downstairs, he got a pot of coffee on and started making Clem a bottle. Buck came out of the shower and stocked up the diaper bag. He went over to Clem and picked her up. Buck changed Clem’s diaper, and dressed her in a pink romper that had gold lady bugs on it, and a bow in the middle. It had come with a matching head band and he put that on her as well. Buck carried the small, swaddled Clem and the diaper bag downstairs. Eddie looked up from pouring two cups of coffee and smiled huge. Buck was so hot, and the way he cared for his daughter… and Chris…. Eddie shook his head ending that train of thought immediately. 

“So, I have to go get Chris, and you have to go to the funeral home, right?” He asked handing Buck the bottle, and a cup of coffee to go. Buck nodded, “Hey, are you busy today? With your day off and all?” Buck asked. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he was hoping they could do something. Eddie smiled, knowing exactly where Buck was going. “Actually, Chris and I have plans,” he said acting all slow and dramatic. Buck’s heart sank, and he looked down feeding Clem, he knew it seemed too good to be true. “Chris is getting lunch with his Bucky, who saved his life and whom he loves dearly” Eddie smiled. Buck shot him a glare, “You’re evil.” Buck said sternly, but he was so happy. He missed Chris so beyond much, and lunch meant more time with Eddie. 

Buck finished feeding Clem, burped her, and he and Eddie headed out to their cars. Buck got Clem in and then drove to the funeral home while Eddie went to get Chris. 

While at the funeral home making all of the last arrangements, and finishing the paperwork, Eddie was busy plotting. He was busy plotting Buck’s reunion with the 118. Originally the team just planned to go to Ali’s wake, and surprise Buck that way. But Eddie knew buck needed the support now. Buck needed his family, and they would be there. Eddie and Chris plotted the big reunion, which was absolutely perfect because everyone was off work today. 

~

Buck left the funeral home and began driving to Eddie’s place. Eddie had told him they were just going to order food in. This way Buck could take care of Clem if he needed her, and he would get to relax before the chaos that would be Friday and Saturday. Eddie still had an old pack and play that he pulled out of storage and put it in the master bedroom. He also grabbed the baby monitor that Eddie used to keep track of Chris’ nightmares. Buck pulled into Eddie’s empty driveway and sighed quietly in relief. He was slightly expecting there to be a whole bunch of cars but there were none in sight. Buck got out, in the same order as always, baby wrap, Clem, diaper bag. He went up and knocked on Eddie’s door. 

“Bucky!” Christopher cheered excitedly, pushing his way past his dad and wrapping his arms around Buck’s waist. “Christopher!” Buck exclaimed, matching the small boy’s enthusiasm. Buck gently gave Chris a hug, which was mildly difficult with Clem snuggled up to his chest. Buck looked at Eddie and gave him a very thankful look. He would never be able to thank him enough. 

They made their way into the kitchen, and in a massive yell, the 118-family yelled, “WELECOME HOME!!” they had a banner that read We Missed you, Buckley and Buck’s heart sank. Everyone was here. Maddie, Chim, Carla, Hen, Athena and Bobby. Bobby walked up to Buck and extended his arm for a handshake. “we’ve missed you kid.” He said with a smile. Buck took his hand, and Bobby gently pulled Buck into a bear hug being mindful of Clem. “So, this is my granddaughter?” Bobby asked with a smile. Buck laughed under his breath. “Yeah, yeah I guess so.” He said and got Clem out of the wrap. “Clementine Faith Buckley, meet everyone, Everyone, meet my daughter Clem.” Buck smiled hugely. Everyone let out their ‘awwws’ and coos and smiles at her. Clem, however, couldn’t care less. She was still sound asleep, holding onto her daddy. 

Buck looked at Bobby, “Do you want to hold her?” Buck asked. Bobby looked at buck, dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe Buck still trusted him after all of the everything he had put Buck through. Bobby nodded, looking down at the little girl. She was precious. He gently took her from Buck and had the biggest smile on his face. There was no disputing she was Bucks, she looked just like her daddy. He turned to the rest of the family and said, “Welcome to our family, little one.” He smiled. Everyone gathered around Bobby and Eddie passed Buck a beer knowing Buck had to have been overwhelmed. Buck smiled but declined because he would have to drive home. 

“I’ll take you and Clem home,” Athena offered, walking over to the two young men. Athena pulled Buck into a hug, “Welcome home Buckaroo,” She said and smiled. “how are you doing?” Buck smiled softly, but his eyes held nothing back. He was in pain, a lot of pain. He was a big mix of emotions. “Thank you, Athena,” He said and took the beer from Eddie, opening it. “I’m… okay, all things considered. I have her to worry about now, and that’s pulling me through. Plus, Eddie let me get some sleep last night.” He said. He really couldn’t thank Eddie enough, but he would try his best later. Athena nodded slowly, pulling him in for another hug. “We’ll all be there tomorrow. We got you Buck, you’re not alone anymore.” She said and rubbed Bucks back. Buck started to cry, holding onto her. Everyone took notice of Buck crying and walked over and they engulfed him in a massive group hug. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. 

Buck hadn’t felt this happy or relieved, ever in his life. Clem let out a soft whimper and started to cry. That was enough to break the group hug up. “I got it,” Eddie offered and grabbed the bottle he had already made up. Eddie now had her schedule down and knew she would be hungry after they got there. Buck smiled and nodded, “go for it,” He said. 

“Actually—” Maddie interrupted. “Do you mind if I get a turn?” She asked and glanced from Buck to Bobby to Eddie. All three smiled, and Bobby handed her Clem, while Eddie handed her the bottle. Maddie smiled hugely at her niece. She placed the tip of the bottle gently to Clementine’s lips, and held her close. Clem started sucking on the bottle, her hand resting gently on Maddie’s finger. Maddie smiled huge, absolutely in love with the baby. Maddie studied every aspect of Clem. Maddie recognized Buck’s eyes and his hair immediately. They were definitely the signature Buckley eyes. She was perfect. 

Chim watched as Maddie studied Clem and he couldn’t help but smile. He went over to Buck, “Now, she’s going to want one.” He said with a soft smile. “So, thanks for that.” He and Buck both laughed. Buck had missed Chim, he could always get him to genuinely smile. Buck looked at Chim while motioning towards Hen who really wasn’t talking all that much. “What’s up with her?” Buck asked, he was concerned that Hen wasn’t going to forgive him any time soon. Chim looked concerned, “I don’t know actually. She’s not talking to me, and I don’t think she has been talking to anyone.” Chim said and took a sip of his beer. Buck nodded, hoping he could maybe help her a little later. 

Maddie moved Clem onto her shoulder and burped her while rocking back and forth slowly. “Buck, she’s so small.” Buck nodded slowly, he had been told Clem had been about two weeks early, but she was in a healthy birth weight, so they had no qualms letting her go home. He filled Maddie in, and excused himself. 

Buck went out onto the back porch where Hen was sitting. He sat down next to her passing her a glass of wine. Today, they were all day drinkers. Well, except bobby and Athena. Hen smiled softly, “Thank’s Buck.” She said and took the glass. “So, once upon a time, there was this dumb kid, right? And he kept taking the firetruck out and having sex with random women he met online, or worse, through work. Eventually, his recklessness led him to get fired. And you know who was the only person who showed him any kind of sympathy over it? And who has been there for that kid ever since? You, Mrs. Henrietta Wilson. You have been there for me through all of my lows. Getting fired, choking on bread, the ladder truck, the tsunami, the earthquake. You have been there non-stop. I am so sorry, for everything that lawsuit put you through. And I get it if you don’t want to talk to me, but I am so beyond sorry. And I can see your in pain, and I just want to know if I can help in any way….” Buck trailed off; he was concerned for Hen. It was rare she was so quiet, and he just wanted to help. 

Hen listened to everything Buck said carefully. She sighed quietly; sure, she didn’t owe him an explanation, but she knew buck was unlikely to drop it. “it’s just.. the universe, Buck. I killed a girl, because her traffic light didn’t change. I walked away without a scratch. Karen lost six embryos, and I can’t do IVF because of my job. So we can’t have a baby. And you… you have a baby you didn’t know about. And that baby girl, that adorable, sweet, loving baby in there is going to grow up without a mom. And she’s going to wonder if she is what killed her mom. And The world, the world is so cruel. And unfair, and unkind.” Hen put extra emphasis on every word in her last sentence. 

Buck listened to her, and sat up a little, taking Hen’s hand in his own. “Hen, You and Karen are going to foster to adopt an amazing child. You are going to surround that child with love, and comfort, and pure joy. That little one will be spoiled. Now I don’t know why her light didn’t change. But her death wasn’t for nothing Hen. She changed you. She made you see everything you had and gave you the guts to go after everything you don’t have but want. As for my little one in there, I will remind her every time she asks that it’s not her fault. And look at the family she is surrounded by. She has the best adopted family in the world. She will never not be loved. Yes, we will both miss Ali, greatly, but she will be okay.” Buck said confidentially. Hen looked at Buck and nodded. “When did you get so grown up?” She asked. Buck laughed softly, “Two days ago,” That got Hen to laugh. Buck pulled her into a hug, and the pair went inside. 

Now, Athena had the baby who was sound asleep in her arms. Bobby was next to her, he could barely take his eyes off Clementine. Everyone else was talking and laughing. Buck and Hen rejoined the chatter circle, and they all ordered food. Buck stopped drinking after one beer. Clementine needed him to be sober, and he wasn’t going to risk anything. She was his life, and his greatest love. 

The food came and the 118 family all sat around the table and shared their first meal back together. Clem was up in the play pen that Eddie had pulled out, and it just added to the list of reasons Buck loved him. The list of reasons he kept but wouldn’t tell. As the day grew later, people started going home. The 118 had called off both tomorrow and Saturday so they could support Buck and Clem. 

Eddie, Buck, Chris, Clem, and Athena were the last ones left. Granted Clem was down for yet another nap, and Eddie was in the process of getting Chris to bed, but Chris insisted Buck read him a story. “Yo, Buckley,” Eddie called out down the stairs where Buck was sitting with Athena, “SHHHHHHHH” Buck said loudly. He really did not want to wake up Clem. Eddie cringed faintly, forgetting about her sleeping in the room down the hall. “Sorry. Chris wants you to read him a story,” Eddie told him from the top of the stairs. Buck turned to Athena and apologized, their conversation would have to wait a little while longer. “Duty calls,” He said with a soft smile and ran up the stairs. As his foot hit the top step Clem started to wail, really for no reason other than she was alone. Eddie offers a smile, “You take mine I take yours?” He asks. Buck nods and goes into Chris’s room. “Hey superman,” Buck smiles and sits next to Chris. “How about instead of me reading a story, I tell you one?” Chris nods, eager to hear what Buck had in mind. 

Buck smiled and started his story, “So, your dad’s first day working with us was a CRAZY one. There was this guy, and he took a fall onto a pump. And it pumped, pumped, pumped him full of air! And when we got on the scene, his heart rate was faint. And your dad, knew exactly how to help him. He knew exactly what to do. He even outshined me! He saved that man’s life, and that’s when I knew we would be good friends,” He said. He made crazy voices, and went into some more detail, calming some things down because Chris was eight years old, after all. Chris smiled and listened to Buck, and slowly fell asleep right around the time Buck finished his story. Buck stood up and kissed Christopher’s head, and turned the lamp off. He turned around and saw Eddie standing in the doorway smiling ear to ear, holding Clem. Buck smiled, “C’mon, Athena’s waiting for us” He said and wrapped his arm around Eddie’s shoulder and the pair walked downstairs. 

Buck and Eddie sat down on a couch across from Athena. Eddie was cradling Clem close to his chest. He had missed being around babies, and she was such a good baby. She was so comfortable around new people and didn’t mind being passed around. She had gotten a lot of love and attention today, and she was a happy little camper. She was currently unswaddled, and looking up at Eddie. She was so curious and studying him, taking in all of his features. She kicked her legs and giggled softly, she was very amused. Eddie smiled and tickled her gently and she giggled and kicked more. She grabbed one of his fingers and held it in both of her tiny little hands. Buck watched them, smiling hugely. Eddie hadn’t even noticed with how focused he was on little Clem. 

Athena watched the pair and smiled. They were perfect together and they were both morons for not noticing this sooner. “Buck, how are you feeling about tomorrow?” Athena asked, and Buck snapped out of his trance. He focused on her and sighed, sitting back into the couch. “I don’t know. This is all so fast.” He said and shrugged. “I don’t know if I can tell you this, but the city hasn’t given me my job back. So, I need to decide if I take the settlement, or if I am going to go find another fire department who will hire me. But I have enough to live on for a while, so I might just go for a drive and end up wherever my Jeep leads me. I have a daughter now. Which is crazy. And I miss Ali, she was amazing. And tomorrow and Saturday I have to see people I’ve never met, talk to them, let them gush over my daughter and listen to how sad they are. That’s not even mentioning Ali’s house. I have to go through everything and figure out what to do with it all….” Buck sighed softly. He was so overwhelmed. He was trying so hard to hold it together, because well, he had to. 

“Buck, you have us. We’ll have your back tomorrow. We can run baby interception and take her, so no strangers have her and it doesn’t put you in an awkward spot. We understand. As for your job, well, I wouldn’t worry about that right now. That will work itself out in due time. We can all help with Ali’s things. Buck, look at me for a moment,” She finally said when she realized Buck had gotten lost in his own head. Buck looked up at her and sighed. “Buck, you have us. I promise you. We have you, okay? Always.” Athena said confidentially. She would not be argued with. She didn’t leave the window open for argument. 

Buck finally broke. He broke down into tears and hid his face in his hands. He had messed up, so beyond much. And everyone was being so nice to him when he didn’t deserve it. Ali should be alive, not him. He felt so guilty because he was still here. He was still breathing. And Ali wasn’t. Ali was such a good person. She never would have sued her family, even if it was just her trying to get them back. She was strong, and courageous, and fierce. She was all the things he was not. She was a strong force that had no competition. Ali had goals; she had a purpose. She put herself first and knew her directive in life. And Buck, well, Buck was still immature and naïve. He felt so bad. It should’ve been her alive with Clem, not him. It was never supposed to be him. His body shook gently with each sob. He had held it together for so long, he didn’t even understand why he was breaking down. He had been so confident in his ability to fake being okay, he stopped feeling the numbness that was an ever constant, underlying feeling. 

Athena moved over and pulled Buck into her arms, letting him get all the emotions out. Eddie had been listening and when he started to cry, he rested a hand on Buck’s leg. The thought of Buck leaving again killed him internally. He couldn’t lose buck again. “It should’ve been me,” Buck sobbed. “I should’ve died. Not Ali. Not her. She deserved so much better than I could offer her,” He sobbed. Athena rubbed his back, letting him cry. But when he started insulting himself, the mother side of her snapped. 

“That’s enough. Evan Buckley, you are a decent young man with a good heart. You offered that girl the world, and she couldn’t handle that your job is one of the most dangerous, selfless jobs out there. You deserve to be here. And you deserve to cherish that little girl and see every moment of her life. You, are her father. And that means something. Ali is gone, but you are here. So make the best of it.” Athena spoke firm, and quick. She was hoping to knock some sense into Buck. He nodded, sniffling a little. He gave Athena a big big hug, and thanked her. He was exhausted. “I think I’m going to go, so I can feed her and get her to bed and try to sleep myself.” He said getting up. He gave both Eddie and Athena one last hug, and gently took Clem from Eddie. He headed out to the car and strapped her in. They drove home. When they got inside, Buck fed, burped, changed and swaddled Clem. He put her down in her crib and laid down. He fell asleep fairly quickly, which was good because tomorrow was going to be a long, hard, emotional day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I hope this chapter lived up to the hope that the first chapter had! I hope you guys liked it. I think it was a little repetitive, which I am working on correcting. There will definitely be a few more chapters so stay tuned :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the wake and the funeral days, but what will Buck do when Eddie comes home bruised to all ****??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some swearing in here, though I did try to edit most of it out. I don't entirely think a warning is needed for that but it's here just incase.

Buck groaned softly as his alarm went off. It was four in the morning and Clementine would be wanting her next bottle. He got up and turned on a light. He walked over and picked her up gently. He changed her diaper and went downstairs making a bottle. It was good that he had been used to his sleep being interrupted. At the station on the twenty-four-hour shifts, if you were asleep and there was a call you were SOL. So, Buck was used to being awoken abruptly, and still being functional. Buck tested the bottle and he sat down on the couch placing the tip in Clem’s mouth.

The pair sat like that until Clem finished the bottle. Buck was lost in his own thoughts, too scared of what the day had in store for them. He burped her gently, and the pair headed back upstairs. Buck laid her back down in her crib and collapsed into his bed. They both got a little more sleep, until Buck woke up at six thirty and showered.

Buck pulled his black suit out of the closet. He hadn’t had to wear this yet, and he was sad that this was the occasion that the suit was necessary. He went over and scooped up Clem. She was still sound asleep, and he got her dressed fairly smoothly. He put her in a little floral dress and wrapped her up in a black swaddle with silver stars on it. He didn’t have the heart to have her in all black. It wasn’t right, it was too sad for someone so small and so young.

Buck restocked the diaper bag and the pair made their way downstairs. He laid her in her car seat while he prepped another bottle. He gently held the bottle in her mouth with his left hand while eating cereal with his right. When she had finished, he rinsed the bottle, and prepped a few extra ones to bring with them. He finished eating his cereal, and the pair was ready to go. Buck headed out to his Wrangler and got Clem in the back seat. He took her out of the swaddle and strapped her in. Buck then laid the swaddle on top of her legs and put a pacifier in her mouth. He took a moment to admire her, and how sweet she looked. He was so in love and she had him wrapped around her little finger. He would do anything for his little girl.

Buck snapped out of the little trance he had been in and closed the back-seat door. He got in the front and turned the car on, and they made their way to the funeral home.

When they pulled in, he was surprised to see the all to-familiar black GMC Sierra. Eddie was not only here, he got there before Buck. Buck was immediately immersed in a smile and parked next to him. Buck got out, and both Buck and Eddie initiated a hug at exactly the same moment. They both hung on for what seemed like a while, and under normal circumstances might have seemed like too long, except both Buck and Eddie needed the comfort. Eddie needed to know that Buck was safe, and physically seeing Buck, and being able to check him over comforted him. Spending the night apart from Buck was more painful than Eddie would care to admit. Buck, on the other hand, just needed to know that someone got him. That he wasn’t alone in all of this.

Eddie was the first to pull out of the hug, and he held Buck at arm’s length. Eddie’s big brown eyes checked every aspect of Buck. He looked into Buck’s eyes, which quickly darted away. Eddie gave Buck a glance up and down his body frowning slightly. “You haven’t been eating,” Eddie accused Buck gently. Buck shook his head, “I eat. Heck, I ate breakfast and I never do.” Buck defended quickly. “Then you aren’t eating enough,” Eddie countered, and Buck had no defense.

Buck groaned and got Clem out of the back seat, and the trio went inside. The funeral home was generous and allowed Buck to set up a Dock-a-tot in one of the conference rooms that Clem could sleep in.

Eddie walked in front of him, Clem in his arms. Damn. Eddie looked good. Real good. Eddie was also in a suit that seemed to hug him perfect----- No. Buck stopped that train of thought really fast. That wasn’t right, especially not today. But he was great with Clem, and he could read him so carefully and… NO! Buck shook his head, snapping out of his thoughts.

He followed Eddie into the conference room and set everything up. Buck set down the Dock-a-tot marble deluxe version, and Eddie laid Clem down in it. She was sucking on a pacifier, sound asleep. Buck set down the car seat and the diaper bag and sat in one of the chairs just admiring Clem with Eddie’s hand resting gently on his shoulder.

“You know, you can do this, right? Like, you’re amazing with Christopher. You got him through a tsunami, you have helped me through so much shit. You can do this, Buck. I have no doubts.” Eddie offered a million-dollar smile when Buck looked up at him.

Buck knew.

Today was still not the right day, but Eddie just kept giving him reasons to add to the, “Reasons I love Edmundo Diaz” list.

Buck knew.

And he had never been so sure of anything in his life. Except maybe his love for his daughter.

Maybe.

For the next hour, it was just Buck, Clem, and Eddie in the conference room. An hour which they both loved and needed. Clem had slept the whole time, and Eddie and Buck took that chance to catch up on life. Eddie told him all about Chris’ new school, how he was coping with the death of his mom. He failed to mention the fight club, though he knew he should have. Eddie was focused on not giving Buck any more reason to leave. He didn’t want to be the one to push Buck out the door. He knew he was being selfish, but he had lost Buck once and he didn’t want to do it again.

When people started arriving, buck left Clem with Eddie and went to greet people. He wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to do, but he was okay with winging it. The day had been mostly Buck talking to people he had barely met before, and everyone gushing over Clem. They both made it through, and Buck was happy when they finally made it back to the apartment.

Okay, maybe today wasn’t so bad. But would tomorrow be bad? Or as easy as today?

Chris and Eddie were coming over, and they were bringing dinner. Buck was excited to see them, and they got there right as Buck had laid Clem down for a nap. There was a faint rat-tat-tapping on the door, and Buck knew it was Chris. Buck opened the door and Chris smiled huge, “BUCKY!” Chris yelled, and gave Buck as tight a hug as he could muster up. Buck picked the boy up and smiled, “hey, Chris” He said and held him close. He and Eddie walked inside, and Eddie set down the Chinese food.

“We brought the works. Pretty much everything off the menu, including two orders of crab Ragoons because they’re you’re favorite.” Eddie said with a confident smile. Buck smiled, and gently set Chris on a chair at the dining room table. “Awesome, guys, let’s eat!” Buck said while grabbing plates and silverware. He sat down at the head of the table with Eddie and Chris on either side of him, and they all dug in. Dinner was awesome. Chris told him all about school, in greater detail than Eddie had been able to tell him. He went on and on about how nice the kids were, and how they included him in activities that the other school hadn’t even offered. Buck was smiling like a big idiot while listening to the boy go on and on, but he couldn’t help it. He was so, so excited, and Buck was so proud of him. Chris was truly brave, and so very resilient.

The guys sat down to watch despicable Me, a Chris pick. Right at seven like clockwork, Clem started to cry because she was hungry. Buck excused himself from the guys and picked her up going to make her a bottle.

Buck held Clem and fed her, admiring Eddie and Chris. Was this what he wanted? Eddie and Chris forever? They would make an awesome family… and, if anything were to happen to him, he knew Clem would be well taken care of. But, was it too soon? Could he make a move on Eddie? After all, his ex-girlfriend, the mother of his child, had just died, in childbirth of all things. What had started as their mistake, and his misuse of a condom had led to a tragedy yet a miracle all at the same time. Clementine was nothing but a miracle. She symbolized how much Buck had grown, and matured, and how he turned into the man he was today.

Could he make a move? What if Eddie didn’t feel the same way? He didn’t want to fuck this up. He couldn’t, it would mess it all up. He needed some space. He needed to clear his head. Clem was on a schedule, she was pretty much sleeping between her diaper changes and feedings, all day. So, if he was going to get away for a while, now would be the time to do it. Maybe he would leave tomorrow after the service. Tomorrow sounded good.

Yeah, tomorrow.

Eddie had been looking from Chris, to Buck, back to the TV. His mind was wandering, and he really wasn’t paying much attention to the movie. His thoughts were on Buck. How he would pretend to be strong until he wasn’t, and he just hoped that Buck would let him in. He had been thinking so much all day about how Buck has only been a father three days, and he was just so naturally good at it. Yet, Clem was extremely easy. But Buck went from not knowing she existed, to rearranging his loft into a nursery but also keeping the bachelor pad feel, in a single evening. It was rather impressive. He was such a good dad, and an even better person. There was no one he trusted more in his life with Christopher…. or himself. He trusted that Buck wouldn’t be the one to break his heart. He knew it, and he was letting himself open up to Buck, and explore the possibility that they could become something. Could they? Is that what he was feeling? Did he love Buck, or was Buck just vulnerable and Eddie wanted to help him. Was this love, or protection? Both? Could he do this? Could tonight become every night? A little sliver of happiness? Could his life be absolutely perfect, for once?

Buck laid Clem down in her bassinette and went back into the living room where Chris and Eddie were waiting. The trio went back to watching the movie, which Chris was fully absorbed in. But Buck and Eddie’s thoughts kept racing.

They were both on the same wavelength, they were just both terrified of what the other wanted. No, they were terrified of what the other needed. All Buck knew, is he had no job holding him here, and he needed a break from the sunny west coast. Maybe he would go back to Hershey, just for a bit. Then, who knows. 

Chris fell asleep with his head resting against Buck’s shoulder. Eddie noticed he was asleep and sat up. “Hey Buck?” Eddie asked softly and the pair met eyes. “I have an errand I need to run, and he’s out could. Would you mind watching him for an hour or two?” Eddie asked, while dodging what he actually wanted to ask. Buck nodded, “Yeah, man. Of course.” Buck offered a smile, and Eddie headed out.

~

Eddie pulled on his gloves and stepped into the ring. The guy he was fighting was about a foot taller than him, but that didn’t faze him in the slightest. He let the guy get in a few good shots, one of them might have cracked a rib or two. After that, Eddie decided a quicker fight would be better. This guy meant business, but Eddie was going to show him whose boss.

_Tap out, or knock out._

Those words ran through Eddies head. He had done everything in the book to get this guy to tap out, but he refused. The only thing left to do, was knock him out. That’s exactly what he did.

One good jump kick to the nose was all it took, and the guy was down. The ref held up Eddie’s arm, right as the guy started seizing.

_“Don’t do it! Don’t you dare Diaz!!”_ The ring coordinator yelled.

Eddie called 911 anyways. The ring coordinator gave him a death glare, “You’ll pay for that.” He said firmly, threateningly before he and his crew walked out. The 136 showed up, and Lena gave Eddie her heavy jacket, so he didn’t get caught. She saved him, and he was eternally grateful. Lena ripped into him and told him how what he was doing wasn’t cool and he was going to get himself in a world of trouble and that he needed to talk to someone, but Eddie was refusing to listen. “Bosko! We’re rolling out!” her captain yelled pulling her gaze away from Eddie. They both nodded at each other, and Lena walked away.

Eddie got in his car and drove back to Buck’s. It was around one, which worked out decently well because Buck would be up to feed Clem. Little did he know, Buck hadn’t gone to sleep and was up because none of his texts were going through to Eddie and he was scared.

Eddie knocked on the door gently at one on the dot. The door flew open, and Buck pulled him into a tight hug, eliciting a whimper out of Eddie. “Where the hell were you?!” Buck scolded, and this time he was the one holding Eddie at arm’s length checking him over. Panic immediately set over him, Eddie looked like all hell. He had a black eye, and a split lip, a bruise on his arm and that was all that he could see. By the way Eddie had whimpered he assumed a broken rib or two. “What happened?!” Buck asked, his expression softening. “Come on, I’ll make some tea.” Buck said leading him inside. Eddie plopped down on a stool at the island.

“I’ve been fighting in a fight club,” he admitted, knowing Buck wouldn’t stop until he got his answers. Buck was so taken aback by the words that came out of Eddie’s mouth; he almost dropped the bottle he had made for Clem. He walked over and picked her up and handed Eddie a mug of tea. He nodded slowly. “Okay… Do I really need to lecture you on how not okay that is?” He asked softly, not even really sure if he could handle lecturing Eddie right now.

To his surprise, Eddie shook his head no. “Lena gave me an earful already. Thanks though.”

Buck nodded slowly, and the pair sat/stood in silence. Buck finished feeding Clem, and laid her back down to sleep. “Please stop fighting. Promise me you’ll never do it again.” Buck pleaded gently, facing the dining room which was away from Eddie. “I promise, no more fighting.” Buck turned back around and nodded.

“I decided earlier that after the funeral service tomorrow, I’m leaving.” He said gently, sipping his own mug of tea. To Buck’s surprise, Eddie stood up immediately, enraged, “WHAT?!” Eddie was almost yelling, while groaning in pain from moving so quickly.

Buck was completely surprised at his best friends’ response.

“Eddie, there is nothing keeping me here.” Buck started, “I have no job, my friends are only being nice because my life fell apart again. I have money, I’m taking a road trip and I’m getting out of this cursed city for a little so I can figure out who I am. So, I can focus on myself, and my daughter!” Buck hissed. Eddie had no place to judge. He had done the exact same thing in leaving Texas. Eddie immediately looked hurt. “Buck, I-I need you. I lost you once and I can’t lose you again… Buck, please don’t go…” Eddie’s voice turned soft, his eyes and face said everything they needed to say. Eddie would be lost without Buck. “Please…”

Buck didn’t know what to say. First, Eddie was mad. Now Eddie was begging him to stay? What was happening?

“Eddie, I need to focus on myself, and my daughter. And I can’t do that here. I bought this place with Ali in mind. I’ve been alone here for months I can- “Eddie cut Buck off, “I can’t lose you again. I won’t.” Eddie begged, slowly starting to walk over to Buck. “please, don’t go...” Eddie actually had tears starting to well in his eyes. This couldn’t be happening. Buck couldn’t be slipping away from him. Not again. Buck turned to look away from Eddie. He couldn’t look at him. So many things were running through his mind. He started to walk away from Eddie, but Eddie lunged to grab Buck’s wrist.

“Let go,” Buck said softly, still looking away from Eddie. “No.” Eddie argued, but he stood firm. “Why?!” Buck whined with a slight yank that only made Eddie’s hand tighten more around Buck’s wrist. “Because I love you, you idiot!” Eddie said and searched Buck in the dark. Buck’s body became immediately less tense, and he turned around. “What….?” Buck asked softly, he was completely stunned and couldn’t believe this was happening. Eddie shifted slightly uncomfortably, but didn’t relax his grip, still not convinced Buck wouldn’t run and Eddie was in no shape to go chasing after him.

“I… love you,” Eddie said each word slow, with a small pause in-between them. Eddie and Buck’s eyes met, and Buck pulled Eddie in close to him, pulling his chin up softly, and kissing him gently. Eddie wrapped his arms around Buck’s neck, and Buck wrapped his arms around Eddie’s lower waist, pulling the two closer together. The moment their lips locked, any doubts in either of their minds had been erased. They knew, their future was together, and there was no ignoring it.

Eddie pulled away gently, slowly moving back down so he wasn’t standing on his tiptoes anymore. Eddie searched Buck’s eyes for something, any kind of anything.

Buck took a moment to think, before pulling Eddie back into his chest, kissing him harder, deeper, with all of the passion the pair could muster up.

When the kiss broke a second time, Buck smiled against Eddie’s lips. “I love you too.” Buck whispered gently, pecking Eddie’s lips. Eddie pulled him into a hug, and they shared that moment for a solid while. “We... we should get some sleep...” Eddie whispered. Tomorrow was going to be a long day. Buck nodded softly. “Can you do stairs?” He asked gently, still holding Eddie close.

Eddie had wanted to say yes. He didn’t want to admit how badly he was injured, or how his entire body ached and felt weak. Buck already knew the answer, and picked Eddie up bridal style, and carried him up the stairs. He set Eddie on the bed gently pulling off his shirt. He looked Eddie’s ribs over. “Tomorrow, while I’m at the funeral I want you to go get looked at since you have the day off already,” Buck said softly. He went to get a wrap and began wrapping Eddie’s torso.

“If you pull this crap again Edmundo…” He murmured. Eddie smiled hugely, “Does that mean you’re staying?” He asked gently and Buck nodded. “I’m staying, don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere without you by my side.” He whispered softly into Eddie’s ear, the heat from Buck’s lips sending chills up and down Eddie’s body. “Lay down, I’ll be back in a minute.” Buck whispered softly, and pulled out of Eddie’s gaze, going downstairs to get Clem and he put her down in her crib.

~

Eddie and Buck both slept soundly, for an hour, then Buck had to get up and feed Clem. When he laid back down Eddie nuzzled close and the pair slept for another three hours. Buck got up at seven to make Clem another bottle. When he went downstairs, he was surprised to see Chris up, and reading a comic book he had from the previous night. Buck smiled, and got the bottle started. “Hey superman, you hungry?” Buck asked and Chris nodded with a smile. Buck set Chris on his chair at the dining room table, and he fed Clem. “How about pancakes?” Buck called behind him. “Sounds great!” Chris said with a smile.

Buck fed Clem and laid her back down in the Dock-a-tot with a pacifier and got the pancake mix started. Buck made them a full feast: Pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs. When it was all done, Buck hiked up the stairs with a cup of coffee and kissed Eddie’s head, “Good morning my love,” He whispered. “Come on, breakfast is ready,” He said with a smile. Eddie reached up and kissed Buck softly and took the cup of coffee. He took Buck’s help to get up, and slowly pulled on a shirt and the pair made their way downstairs.

Buck set all of the food on the table and sat down with both his guys and they all started to eat.

Eddie and Chris left after they finished breakfast. Eddie wanted to get into the doctor’s and back out with enough time to get to the funeral at two. He wanted to be there to support Buck. Eddie dropped Chris off at Abuela’s since both he and Carla would be at the funeral.

Meanwhile, Buck cleaned up and he and Clem went back upstairs. The pair had two more hours to sleep, and Buck planned to use them. One thing he had learned, if Clem was asleep, and he had the option to sleep, he would.

Buck laid back down until ten, then he got up and made Clem a bottle. He fed her, burped her, and laid her back down while he showered. After he showered, he wrapped a towel around his waist and went out. He got Clem and changed her diaper and got her dressed. It was supposed to be a little colder today, so he put her in a black footie outfit, and a black bow. He could justify the black internally to himself, though he still didn’t think it was fitting for someone so young to be in all black. After she was dressed and swaddled, he himself got dressed. He picked her up, and they went downstairs. He laid her down on her belly for some tummy time and he restocked the diaper bag, while getting another bottle ready. He also got one made to bring with them, though they should be home by four. The funeral was at two, and it was at the cemetery so they wouldn’t have to deal with the procession, which was nice. But it would only last like a half hour/forty-five minutes.

He picked Clem up, and fed her the bottle. He looked down at her and couldn’t erase the smile he had since last night. “You know,” He whispered, “Your daddy met a guy, and he’s amazing, and you like him!” He said softly. He began thinking of Eddie, and how comfortable she had been with him, and how great Eddie had been with her. He thought of that man until they walked out to get in the car and there Eddie was, leaning against Buck’s Wrangler in a black suit. Eddie offered Buck a grim smile, and kissed him gently, “Are you ready for this?” He asked softly. He was directly talking about the funeral, but the underlying question he didn’t have the nerve to ask was ‘are you ready for us?’. Buck nodded, and pulled Eddie close, “With you by my side, I’m ready for anything.” He said softly and kissed him again gently.

Buck got Clem in and got in the driver’s seat. “what did the doctor say?” He asked gently. “I have two broken ribs, so I’m out of commission for a while,” He said softly, and Buck took his hand. He didn’t entirely know what to say. Of course, he hated that the man he loved was hurt, but Eddie did this to himself, and needed to face the consequences.

They drove to the cemetery in decent silence, and parked. Buck got out, grabbing Clem. He opened the back gate of the wrangler and laid her down, wrapping her up in a swaddle. He picked her up, and he and Eddie made their way over to the chairs.

The funeral service was nice. It was the classic, American funeral service. Clem had been a sleeping angel up until the very end. Ave Maria always had pulled at Buck’s heart strings, and right as he was about to cry, Clem started crying her little eyes out. Buck got up, and slowly walked away trying to calm her down but the little girl was absolutely inconsolable. Buck tried giving her the extra bottle, she didn’t need a diaper change, he tried taking her out of the swaddle, holding her in every different position imaginable. Nothing would calm her down, that is until Eddie walked over, and Buck himself calmed down, and magically Clem stopped crying just in time for them to watch miss Ali Martin be lowered into the ground.

Buck and Eddie got into the Wrangler after the service. “That was insane,” Buck said softly, exchanging a look with Eddie. “It was like she could feel what I was feeling. It was crazy,” Buck trailed off, his hand not being able to start the car. Eddie took Buck’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I know, I’m here” he whispered softly. Buck turned and looked at him.

“What if we go away?” He asked looking right in Eddie’s eyes. “You, me, Chris and Clem. We just get away. Hawaii, or the Bahamas. Or something!” Buck said with such a passion that Eddie hadn’t seen in weeks. Eddie looked confused, “Buck I don-“ Buck cut him off. “I’ll pay. After all, I am a millionaire.” Buck said with a soft smile. Eddie looked confused, and Buck elaborated. “Yesterday, after the wake, I realized that the county will probably never give me my job back. So, I took the settlement.” He said softly, just failing to mention they had upped the offer from seven million, to ten, to twenty, to thirty where he had settled. Eddie nodded softly, “Okay.” He said with a smile. “Awesome! We’ll go back, you’ll get your car, and Chris, and pack, and we’ll fly tonight!” He said with a smile.

Buck drove back to his place, he and Eddie got out, Buck pulled Eddie in for a passionate kiss.

Today they packed, tonight they would fly, and tomorrow would be paradise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two fun facts for this chapter:
> 
> 1) The Clem and Buck funeral scene is based loosely off something that happened with me and my mom. 
> 
> 2) All of the clothes/ the furniture/ the Dock-a-tot described is real, and you can find it on the target website if you go hunting. 
> 
> Also, the next chapter is going to be a lot of fluff and I'm very excited.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed, there will definitely be more chapters. Let me know your comments or if there's anything you want to see!


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